When I got back from Israel I couldn’t wait to talk about my trip. Most of my friends wanted to hear about the places and the people we met. Some were even brave enough to look at all the pictures I took, all 241 of them! But the questions were pretty routine – who, what, where, why, when and how.
They were standard vacation questions, until I talked to Rhea. Rhea is a valued friend and a Jewish professional who I genuinely love and respect. Rhea is cards up on the table, cut to the chase, and we have amazing conversations about life and the Jewish world. In true Rhea style her first question wasn’t about what I saw or what I felt, Rhea went right for the jugular, and asked me the one question I couldn’t answer. Why now? Why this mission? Why this moment in my life? She took me to the place I needed to go, before I knew I needed to go there.
Rhea and I have talked about many mission trips over the years, often I have looked at the itineraries, pondered going on another one, but for some reason they never quite fit. It might have been work, it might have been the cost, it might have been other commitments. So why when this email came why did I drop everything and go? I stumbled to give her an answer…it worked out schedule wise, my colleagues were will to cover my clients, it was a short mission, I had the funds. They were lame answers and I think Rhea knew that. She knew before she asked the question there was more to this, that was why as a friend she was asking.
I have spent almost a month now searching for that answer and think I am finally beginning to understand what was different. And in finding that answer am realizing not only why I went, but why I can't let go of my time there like I have on past trips. Why a month later I am still talking about it, looking for ways to continue sharing the experience, looking for ways to make a difference both locally and in Israel. I am starting to understand why a plane overhead still makes me shake, why I wonder more about Yossi than I do people I have known for years, why every time I hear that another rocket has hit Sderot my heart breaks again, why when I read last Sunday of a school in Ashkelon damaged by a grad missile I was ready to check flight schedules and head to help.
I now have your answer Rhea…the difference was that this mission, both in its design and in my goals, was not about being IN Israel, but being WITH Israel! It wasn’t about going and seeing Sderot…it was about embracing the citizens of Sderot. It wasn’t about admiring the refurbished playground at Nitzan…it was about understanding the meaning of the playground in the lives of the children there. It wasn’t about the trees we planted at Moshav Yachini…it was about us now being part of the same land that the founders of Israel cultivated 60 years ago.
In the end this trip wasn’t about me seeing Southern Israel and the situation there…it was about Southern Israel becoming part of me, part of my heart, part of consciousness. It was about me learning what true sacrifice means, what truly standing up for something you believe in is all about and about standing your ground against all odds when you know what you are doing matters.
It ends up being a much simpler answer than any I was struggling for….I can’t let go of what I was part of in for 2 days in Israel, because it is now part of me.
They were standard vacation questions, until I talked to Rhea. Rhea is a valued friend and a Jewish professional who I genuinely love and respect. Rhea is cards up on the table, cut to the chase, and we have amazing conversations about life and the Jewish world. In true Rhea style her first question wasn’t about what I saw or what I felt, Rhea went right for the jugular, and asked me the one question I couldn’t answer. Why now? Why this mission? Why this moment in my life? She took me to the place I needed to go, before I knew I needed to go there.
Rhea and I have talked about many mission trips over the years, often I have looked at the itineraries, pondered going on another one, but for some reason they never quite fit. It might have been work, it might have been the cost, it might have been other commitments. So why when this email came why did I drop everything and go? I stumbled to give her an answer…it worked out schedule wise, my colleagues were will to cover my clients, it was a short mission, I had the funds. They were lame answers and I think Rhea knew that. She knew before she asked the question there was more to this, that was why as a friend she was asking.
I have spent almost a month now searching for that answer and think I am finally beginning to understand what was different. And in finding that answer am realizing not only why I went, but why I can't let go of my time there like I have on past trips. Why a month later I am still talking about it, looking for ways to continue sharing the experience, looking for ways to make a difference both locally and in Israel. I am starting to understand why a plane overhead still makes me shake, why I wonder more about Yossi than I do people I have known for years, why every time I hear that another rocket has hit Sderot my heart breaks again, why when I read last Sunday of a school in Ashkelon damaged by a grad missile I was ready to check flight schedules and head to help.
I now have your answer Rhea…the difference was that this mission, both in its design and in my goals, was not about being IN Israel, but being WITH Israel! It wasn’t about going and seeing Sderot…it was about embracing the citizens of Sderot. It wasn’t about admiring the refurbished playground at Nitzan…it was about understanding the meaning of the playground in the lives of the children there. It wasn’t about the trees we planted at Moshav Yachini…it was about us now being part of the same land that the founders of Israel cultivated 60 years ago.
In the end this trip wasn’t about me seeing Southern Israel and the situation there…it was about Southern Israel becoming part of me, part of my heart, part of consciousness. It was about me learning what true sacrifice means, what truly standing up for something you believe in is all about and about standing your ground against all odds when you know what you are doing matters.
It ends up being a much simpler answer than any I was struggling for….I can’t let go of what I was part of in for 2 days in Israel, because it is now part of me.
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